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full circle

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7pm, the bar next to the car wash, everyone is invited.  People greeted each other, overly excited and obviously awkward. With each new ding, the expected number of people reduced and people fell back to small talks. "How have you been doing?" "you're so pretty now," "omg I missed you so much." After much chatter, Joanne found herself in the high-rise table. As if there was an unspoken promise, everyone stopped talking at the same time and silence fell upon the table. They looked at each other, wanting to break the ice but also bringing back the old feelings for each other. There were only six of them. Joanne was facing the five biggest enemies of her life. The ones that built her and broke her at the same time. Henry was sitting right next to her. He was probably at least the nicest one out of them all. Although he didn't know how to feel for Jo and often made stupid comments, he had the kindest intentions. They had also known each other for...
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I'm upset but why are you not upset?

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"I don't understand you." A sweep of fury had already destroyed my calm. I played the victim and pitied myself. Slowly, the fumes had leaked out and blurred everyone's sight. The whole world had to know that I was upset. I was trapped in my circle of thoughts which made so much sense to me, gave me so many reasons to be angry.  It confused me to find that a huge part of my world didn't resonate with my anger. What was it that shook me, tore me, and upset me? Why do you only understand but not empathize? Does it not ring an alarm for you? Does it sound too silly to be affected? Whatever it is, I'm confused. I thought we were in sync. Our worlds have to be aligned. Why won't you come over? It's too late for me to go now. I trace back my thoughts to find the source of anger. To relay the source and initiate the fire in the other world. But it doesn't work. Why does it not work? Why am I crying while you are laughing? Now I'm a fool who doesn...
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Joanne

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"Joanne? Jo Ann?" I turned around oblivious, hair flying across my face, eyes searching for the source of the sound. Cheeks swelling with red, eyes golden brown, lips like fading petal, I was only a girl. Only a girl who lived a separate world in her head. Only a girl who couldn't hold a proper conversation with real human beings. A sip of coffee was enough to raise my heartbeat, shake my heads, and pinch my mind. But here he was, perhaps he was a whole liter of coffee. I thought my heart was going to burst. I hid my hands behind my back to hide its nervous jitters, and my mind was clear as crystal or penetrating beyond the physical him and imagining things beyond the current to confuse myself. I had no control over myself. What did I expect to find? Slow breeze in the late afternoon, a picnic by the river. Sun-soaked skin softly leaning against each other, eyes met gently speaking of love. That's what I saw through my eyes.  With the turn of the wi...
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